February 18, 2017

Spongebob JUMPED THE SHARK after the first movie happened, and here's why


We all love Spongebob Squarepants, the wackiest cartoon out there. It's been with us since July 17, 1999. However, after the first movie got released, the show took a massive dive in quality and we, the fans, started abandoning The Sponge. Here is a list of a few reasons why everyone knows that this lovely cartoon started jumping the shark.



  • Spongebob legally changed his name to "Marijuanabob Weedpants" (Seriously, Nickelodeon? KIDS SHOW!)
  • Spongebob stopped wearing pants and dragged his malformed dick around the screen at all times
  • Patrick got laid
  • Mr. Krabs joined the church of scientology
  • Spongebob's grandparents died, resulting in the events that would end up causing The Splinter to air
  • Plankton stole the secret formula, and used it to rewrite history in a way that did not result in the birth of Eugene Krabs, therefore destroying all competition
  • Season 6, episode 5 where there was an unneeded censor bar over Squidward's nose at all times 
  • Sandy learned the secrets of the cosmos and ascended to a higher plane of existence
  • Plankton joined the army and died for his country
  • That episode where squidward grew a toenail for the sole purpose of it being painfully removed through Spongebob's antics
  • Theme song got changed to Sail by AWOLNATION, reversed
  • Patrick received whispers from the darkness during one of his DMT experiences and proceeded to change his behavior to that of a huge jerk
  • The entire cast of Fairly Oddparents came to bikini bottom for a vacation, set everything on fire, and left
  • Squidward became anatomically correct
  • Spongebob grew eyeballs on his two regular arms 
  • Patrick deep-fried his face and served himself to hungry customers, chanting "Eat The Starfish" until the customers joined in
  • An average human male named Jim started living in Sandy's treedome after her ascension
  • Spongebob insisted that everyone called him The Sponge instead of his actual name
  • Squidward took up pro wrestling 
  • Bubble Bass died
  • Squilliam Fancyson sold his own genitals for seven dollars and five cents
  • The second movie's ending song got changed (They wanted to do Ocean Man again at first, but settled on Waving My Dick In The Wind instead.)
  • Spongebob grew ten extra arms on his ass after losing both his legs in an industrial accident
  • Spongebob lost his face's eyeballs, opting instead to see through his hands 
  • After a failed ritual to bring Sandy back, Jim, Sandy, Squidward and Mr. Krabs got fused into The Meat
  • Squidward joined the freemasons
  • Spongebob stopped hanging out with The Meat around season 9... seriously, what a jerk! This is not the loveable sponge we used to know!
  • Secret morse code hidden in all of the dialogue about mr krabs' disappearance, spelling out "SAVE THE CRAB"

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